1.

How long do cosmic ladybugs live? I’m training to be
A triathlete   playing a trippy melody on my ladybug piano
Looking into the black hole of this wall   I don’t know
Who all the presidents were   I’d like to be mango-colored
I’d like to smell like citrus   trust my mind a little
Let me inspect this torn deodorant ad   these ranch beans
Taste just like hotdog chili   in Germany ladybugs are
Considered good luck   created by the Virgin Mary
To assist farmers   this weekend is called
Labor Day Weekend   black glitter all over this
Prairie farm   a voice on the radio tells me
On June 13, 2010 no Pirates struck out
I remember the window of a midwestern brewery
I remember being born a cosmic ladybug

2.

I remember being born a cosmic ladybug   I’m surfing
On my pink ladybug surfboard   the trees are a little different
Along the coast   cops get to weave through light traffic
Sometimes I go by the name Ruby   a good dog I knew
I remember a street named Iris   beach candy
A carved proclamation   I Love Ladybugs   I don’t know
When six o’clock sharp is   I remember a yellow street sign
That said No Outlet   how I pondered its message
Too deeply and then it rained   that sudden moment when
The Canadian and American flags fly side-by-side
I’ve been told I can be a sea lion in my next life
If I want to   I want to keep choosing to be a ladybug again
And again and again and again   pizza bars are a thing
In the contemporary moment I find myself in

3.

In the contemporary moment I find myself in
I remember you Diamond Street   green bridge neighboring
The Pacific Ocean   why are these clouds so low?
A goal in my cosmic life is to get to know a gardener
Help him her they them keep their garden
Pest-free   a voice on the news tells me   loneliness
Is comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day
When I feel lonely I imagine a squirrel
Eating a fig   I need some San Diego sunshine
I remember a poet leaning against a very old truck
Saying the fool that I am is a beautiful zero
I want to ride a rainbow that springs
From a magic woman’s hands    who then tells me
You’re ready to experience weird ladybug love

4.

I’m ready to experience weird ladybug love
If I could give my younger self a gift it would be
The gift of knowledge in a garden in India at sunset
Ladybug eggs are hatching as I speak   I’m gazing
At a small piece of citrine   I’ve never been inside of
A British bank   I’ve inspected more than one
Penny on the ground   I just had a silly thought
While I was making a wildflower bouquet
The trees will not lose their feathers
I bring fruit with me everywhere I go
Hot pink raindrops tell me it’s okay to cuss
I’m listening to Bill Withers on a Sunday night
If I could give my younger self advice
It would be don’t let the buzz killers get to you

5.

I don’t let the buzz killers get to me anymore
I quite love the buzz of the apple the buzz of the tongue
The buzz of anticipation the buzz of purple hair
The buzz of angel wings the buzz of a good 70s song
Honey buzz bubblegum buzz lizard green buzz
I quite love the feel of stone buzz tree buzz
Grass buzz cardboard buzz sidewalk buzz   the buzz
Is the buzz in the buzz within the buzz underneath
The buzz   uncomplicated buzz spiritual buzz
Animal buzz sexual buzz autumn buzz
The secret buzz   I quite love the buzz of
My own wings especially on a soft blue breeze
Especially on a cool November breeze especially
On a tender breeze during a hippy gold sunset

6.

On a tender breeze during a hippy gold sunset
I confess sometimes I pretend to be a white Pegasus
I’ve read lots of thermometers   right now it’s a crisp
79 degrees Fahrenheit   I remember finding
A crumpled up drawing of a man kicking the cross
That someone else had pulled out of the trash
And left spread out underneath a rock   I remember
Overhearing a conversation where someone said
Musicians used to write songs for doormen
I confess I’ve always wanted to be a militant
Saxophone player   I remember being on the outside
Of a kitchen window watching a mother
Bathe her infant in the sink   I have the ability
To lay hundreds of eggs at once more than once

7.

To lay hundreds of eggs at once more than once
I just need some good make-out music   a mate with
A funky name   a tree full of leaves   spring sunshine
Or summer moonlight   and the understanding
That my children will name themselves   I remember
Watching a man play an accordion in the woods
Along with his guitar-playing friends   the wild and
Earthy scent of marijuana   bare-naked trees
A little gray dog passes by me on this old porch
Filled with plants   lifts her nose to the southern
Scent of the wind the way I would if I were a dog
I’ve walked across plenty of classic car hoods
Classic car windows classic car roofs classic car
Headlights both clean and dirty on lonely afternoons

8.

Headlights both clean and dirty on lonely afternoons
Trains that look monstrous to me but I love them anyway
The way they create their own unique thunder
Let me inspect this makeup ad stained with flecks
Of mud   I named myself Calliope because I
Heard it in a 70s song   but later   an open book
Told me that Calliope is the Greek goddess of
Epic poetry and her name means beautiful-voiced
I aspire to write epic ladybug poetry   I’m working on
A book-length poem called The Orgy of Nature
I remember telephone cords and broken
Telephone receivers and telephone push buttons
I met one of my daughters once   she named herself
Wild Card after discovering a scattered Uno deck

9.

After discovering a scattered Uno deck in a park
I couldn’t help but think of my daughter out there
In the ladybug world dodging insects and human
Hands and jars and plastic cups and nets and
Spider webs   I remember overhearing an argument
Where someone said there’s no humanity in you
Is there?   leave it to me to fly into windchimes
Leave it to me to land on a wet leaf   leave it to me
To say Brooks Raley when I mean to say Luke Raley
Leave it to me to have a nightmare about getting
Sucked into the mouth of a dragon   nice looking
Clouds out here today   cloud energy is beautiful
Cloud energy is nourishing   cloud energy is
Filling my ladybug soul with cloud power

10.

Filling my ladybug soul with cloud power
Let me look at you and your cuteness
A strange woman said to me once   reaching
For her strange glasses   let me inspect
This empty Dos Equis bottle with a dead
Cigarette inside of it   I feel pleasantly low
Like the Cracker song after walking through
Little drops of beer   I once tangled with
An aggressive climbing rose   let me inspect
This coupon that tells me 10 strikeouts
Gets me a free taco   I remember a little feather
On a wet banana tree leaf underneath my
Ladybug window   I used to enjoy big cities
But now I dream of living among trees

11.

Now I dream of living among trees
Let me inspect this opened bag of gummy
Bears   I once built a ladybug castle
Made of sugar cubes   I once saw a shirt
In a storefront window that said The Cool Parent
The TV in this restaurant patio shows me
A baseball player with a bruised throat
I once quickly inspected a skateboard with
Germs stickers all over it   this broken twig
Looks a lot like a cinnamon stick   if I lived
In England right now I’d be called a ladybird
I dream of meeting Pierre André Latreille
Who gave me my scientific name Coccinellidae
Because in Latin coccineus means scarlet

12.

Because in Latin coccineus means scarlet
I often dream of living among other cosmic beetles
Ground beetles leaf beetles scarab beetles blister beetles
Japanese beetles longhorn beetles fireflies
Jewel beetles burying beetles green June beetles
Rhinoceros beetles Hercules beetles stag beetles
I’m remembering a silly phrase I said in a dream
I let that fish fly away   maybe I’ll watch headlights
Tonight   maybe tonight I’ll find a TV showing
Preseason hockey   maybe tonight the mic will
Catch a player shouting bull fucking shit
Before I know it I’ll be imagining a bull fucking
Shit   I remember floating over a lavender field
In the middle of summer where it stays cool

13.

In the middle of summer where it stays cool
I don’t know what St. Louis blues sounds like
Aside from being a cosmic ladybug who am I really?
I once found sanctuary in a dreamcatcher and then
I saw myself in a dream talking to someone
Just like you   with the tongue of a lion   with a
Lion’s heavy thoughtfulness   would you let me
Cling to your golden mane? I once rode a lion
On a carousel   I once walked across the back
Of a stone lion   a ladybug tarot reader told me
You imagine a beautiful future version of yourself
That you don’t know how to become
In so many fantastical stories I’ve read
Animals always seem to have the answers

14.

Animals don’t always have the answers   let’s turn
All those little white lies into little white flies
I’m willing to spend all night on this leaf with you
Lion-turned-ladybug   we wear sunglasses
When we don’t want our eyes to be seen or
When we can’t bear the brightness
I want to look into your ladybug eyes tonight
And tomorrow and in the rain and on a
Windy afternoon and before a gleaming sunrise
I’m the beautiful future self I don’t know how to become
I’m the daughter of a mother I never met
I’m the daughter of a father I never met
I’m the whisper within myself I can’t ignore
I’m the cosmic spark that hurts so good to bloom

15.

I remember being born a cosmic ladybug
In the contemporary moment I find myself in
You’re ready to experience weird ladybug love
Don’t let the buzz killers get to you
On a tender breeze during a hippy gold sunset
To lay hundreds of eggs at once more than once
Headlights both clean and dirty on lonely afternoons
After discovering a scattered Uno deck
Filling my ladybug soul with cloud power
Now I dream of living among trees
Because in Latin coccineus means scarlet
In the middle of summer where it stays cool
Animals always have the answer
I’m the cosmic spark that hurts so good to bloom