Sinus problems today / No rain in five weeks / Air quality alert in effect / Head shoulders knees and toes / Sloppy joes for dinner / Know my life through my thoughts / Suave Coconut Kiss body wash / The back of my shirt says Fresh and Local / There are also sunflowers on the back of my shirt / He does a really good job of cockblocking himself / King cake commercial from 1990 / Donahue asks Democrats if they can win in 1992 / A classic soap opera question / When did you decide that you could raise a child that I conceived with your fiancé? / Do they still make Viennetta ice cream? / The answer is yes but they use inferior ingredients / Robert Stack talking about Vietnam for Time Life in the late 80s / Free Gift: a detailed military map of Vietnam / Reinvent your reality in 2023 / How many speeders were on the highway during rush hour traffic in 1993? / I am a member of the 70s Preservation Society / Get your parents’ permission to call the KISS Hotline / HAMMER TIME / Give the people what they want / The 1989 Batman movie on videocassette / I had a stuffed Spuds MacKenzie / I never ate Mr. T’s cereal / My sinuses are feeling a little bit better temporarily / A limit of 5 commemorative coins per order / You don’t have to buy ALL THOSE CDS / There is one sunflower on the front of my shirt / I had a Tropical Miko Barbie / I had a Lite Brite / I never went to Dickens on the Strand / I was looking for Quincy commercials / And I found a bunch of commercials for a family steakhouse called Quincy’s / They were known for their big fat yeast rolls / Vincent Price advertising a peanut butter candy bar without jelly / It was called No Jelly / Take a trip to the CBS Galaxy / A working woman needs a working woman’s bra / Imagine paying 59 cents for a pair of panties / I had a Wrinkles / I lost her bone immediately / I wish I could’ve eaten at Lenny’s Clam Bar / People disco dancing around brand new Cadillacs / This memoir is a slow ride / The Clash covered the song “Brand New Cadillac” / It was originally written in 1959 by Vince Taylor / We need to make ponchos popular again / We used to eat at a Mexican buffet called Panchos / I got a lion piñata from there for my birthday / It’s still sitting safely in my closet / Garfield binder / I rested for most of Sunday / They stopped making No Jelly in 1979 / I keep elbowing the wall / Black Sabbath singing about a hole in the sky / Try fighting with a trident or a pitch fork / Try fighting with a bow and arrow / Try fighting with a redbone / Imagine all the words that could appear in this memoir / It’s not Saturday Night yet / It’s about to be Monday Night Football / Bears and Eagles / HAMMER TIME